4 days later and the convicts are still on the loose. "Pistol Packin' Patty", the deputy and arresting officer for the first offender in Grand Beach, told us they only have one of the perps on their radar and he left our village and headed south. Seems like the 3rd escapee was smart enough to have a plan and probably won't be seen again until John Walsh picks up the story on "America's Most Wanted".  I do feel bad for the guy that was caught. He's probably been tortured several times by a cigarette smoking detective in a bad suit trying to get information about his former inmates. I feel even worse for the one that's still in the area. He's been spotted near a mexican restaurant and a grocery store. I'm not a detective but these clues tell me he's not only hungry but is probably in desperate need of some bug spray.  It's very woodsy around here and with the record rainfall we've had  this summer I'm certain he's contracted lyme disease by now.  And if that wasn't enough, my mom's bridge game was cancelled on Monday night because of the fear in the village.  So once he is apprehended, I'm confident the Grand Beach Ladies Bridge Club will have a few choice words for him. I don't care how dangerous you think you are, you should NEVER mess with a ladies bridge club.

Our family has managed to soldier through the days without letting the felons disturb our routine. It's been lots of beach time sprinkled with trips to the outlet mall. I like to try to get a little time with each of the kids to create a special bond so at least one of them will take care of me when I'm old and drooling. I've got 14 of them and I've changed all of their diapers so I'm hoping they'll do the same for me if I need it.  

The shopping experience is different depending on the age group. I took 4 girls ranging from 10-13 and they couldn't wait to get to Bath and Body Works. I watched as they sprayed and rubbed and sniffed everything in the store.  I let them each pick out their own 5 for $5 lotions and sprays which made them shake with excitement. I too, was shaking when I started to get a whiff of the purchases. I imagined once we got home how the musty, summer lakefront smell of their rental cottage would soon be replaced by the fresh scent of a brothel.  

Another trip to the mall was with a 20 year old niece where we made a quick stop at Claire's Boutique. She was looking for earrings and when I asked if it was to replace the stud on ther newly pierced nostril, she said it was not. She informed her older, square aunt that she needed to replace her belly button ring. For cry eye, how many holes can a body take before it springs a leak? And, just an hour before our outing, we were at the beach where she revealed a 1 week old tattoo that says "Amore". She's 1/2 Italian so I should be happy she chose the translation of  the word love to scar her body. Besides,  had she gone with her Irish heritage, I think the Gaelic word for love is "Guinness" and that's just not something I want to see permanently inked on one of my family members. 

The evenings have been chock full of bbqs, kids going nuts and lots of boom boom music. I do not understand ONE word of the music these kids are playing these days which I know makes me sound old.  Listening to a 10 or 11 year old sing about "losing your panties" and "making you feel good all night" kind of makes me uncomfortable. But they don't really understand what they're singing so I don't want to draw attention to it. I threw my iPod in at one point to show them that we adults could be hip, too.  I quickly realized that children never like to see their parents as human beings so once we got up to dance and sing to our music, the kids left the room completely embarrassed. It wasn't exactly like torturing an escaped convict but by the looks on their faces, it was pretty close. And now I know exactly what to do when I need some alone time with my siblings. 

Today's EiPod: "Rapper's Delight", Sugar Hill Gang